Poor Husbands....

Position of a Husband Is just like a Split AC
No matter however Loud he is in the Outdoor
He is designed to remain Silent indoor...

"Husband is one who is the head of the family,
but his wife is the neck, and whichever way she turns, he goes."

A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means - With Idiot For Ever

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,
So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one every day.

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping Pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are..
Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?
Husband: A lovely Push...!

Why Men Lie?

"One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?"

The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water, and he needed the axe to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver Axe. "Is this your axe?"

the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron Axe. "Is this your axe?"

the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, "Yes."

The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Sometime later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"

"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"

The Lord went down into the water and came up with ANGELINA JOLIE "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.

"Yes," cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. "You lied! That is an untruth!"

The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding.

You see, if I had said 'no' to ANGELINA JOLIE , You would have come up with CAMERON DIAZ . Then if I said 'no' to her, you would have come up with my wife . Had I then said 'yes,' you would have given me all three. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT'S why I said yes to ANGELINA JOLIE ."

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honourable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That's our story, and we're sticking to it!

Amazing Montreal Gardens

Monkey Tales

One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went out for a walk.

"Why don't we prove who is the best among ourselves?"

 Why not, said the other two.

The Infosian said "Let's have a test. Whoever makes this monkey laugh, works for the best firm".

Being a pure logical strategist, the person from TCS tried to make the monkey Laugh by telling jokes. The monkey stayed still. As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures... No good, the monkey stayed put. Now, comes the Infosian. Being the practical guy he was always trained to be, he whispered something into the monkey's ear, and it burst out laughing at him. The other two were astonished.

So the Wipro guy said "OK, let's take another test. Let's make this monkey cry!!"

So there they went again, applying the same methods as before. The TCS guy narrated sad
stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they failed again.

Then, the Infosian again whispered something into the monkey's ear and oh!It started crying, patting the Infosian's shoulder! The other two just could not believe their eyes!

So the TCS guy said "OK,  you've won twice. If you can win just this one, we will bow to you.
Let's make this monkey run".

And he barked at the monkey and ordered him to run. Of course, it stayed where it was.. The Wipro
guy, true to his type, pushed and prodded the monkey- still No go. So...here comes Infosian, again, and whispers into the monkey's ear. The Monkey just takes off! It runs and runs as fast as it can, as if  it was scared to death! The other two surrendered.

They  Said: "OK, we give up. You're the best among us, and you work for the Best firm of the
three. But please, please tell us your secret," they begged him.


"Well", said the Infosian , "The first time I made it laugh, I told I work for Infosys . The next time, I told the monkey how much I get paid...So it started crying. And then I told that I was here for  recruitment !!!"

Did you know?

Some more after the jump