Three Statisticians Go Hunting

Three statisticians go hunting and a bird flies across their view.
The first aims his gun and fires. Unfortunately he shoots 3 feet too high and misses.
The second takes aim and fires, his shot goes 3 feet too low and misses the target.
The third statistician then shouts "Great! We hit it!"

Jim goes into confession and says

 "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned, last night I had sex with a woman who is not my wife."

The Priest says "Son, I cannot grant you absolution unless you tell me her name. Who was this woman?"
Jim says "Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."

The Priest says "Was it that red-haired hussey Maureen O'Flahherty?"
"Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."

The Priest says "Was it that adulterous Sheila Calhoun?"
"Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."

The Priest says "Was it that brazen Mary Callaghan?"
"Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."

The Priest says "Was it that wicked woman Kathleen O'Connor?"
"Father, forgive me but I cannot tell you her name."

The Priest says "Well, if you will not tell me her name, I cannot grant you absolution. Begone!"

So Jim leaves the church and meets his friend Jonno outside.

Jonno says "Hey Jim, you're not a Catholic, surely you weren't trying to get absolution?"

Jim says "Nah, just picking up some tips..."

Grandmas Having Fun

Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.

When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying,
"We bet we can tell exactly how old you are."

The old man said, "There is no way you can guess it, you old fools."

One of the old Grandmas said, "Sure we can! - Just drop your pants and under
shorts and we can tell your exact age."

Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn't do it, he dropped his drawers.

The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.

Then they all piped up and said, "You're 87 years old!"

Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked,

"How in the world did you guess?"

Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison...

"We were at your birthday party yesterday!"