Three ladies are sitting in a bar and doing what women do..

Three ladies are sitting in a bar. All of them have husbands named Larry. One lady asks, "If you could name your husband after any soda pop, what would it be?"

The first lady thinks for a minute and says, "Moutain Dew, because he can mount and do me anytime."

The second lady thinks for awhile and finally says, "7-Up, because he has seven inches and can always get it up."

The third lady thinks for a long time and finally says, "Jack Daniels."

The other ladies look at her with a confused look and say, "Wait a minute, Jack Daniels is a hard liquor."

The third lady says, "Yep, thats my Larry!"

The Witty Clerk

A woman went to a market in Mexico and very loudly and obnoxiously demanded a half a melon. The clerk told her politely that the melons were only sold whole, but she continued to rant about only wanting a half melon. The clerk excused himself and went to the back of the store to talk to the manager.

Not realizing that the customer had followed him. He told the manager, “A loud, rude, and obnoxious woman wants me to sell her a half a melon.”

He instantly realized that the woman was right behind him, and quickly aded, “And this nice lady wants to buy the other half.”

The manager cut the melon in half, sold it to the woman and, as she happily left the store, he turned to the clerk and complimented him on his quick reactions and his calmness under pressure.

“I am opening another store in Veracruz and I think you would be the perfect man to manage the whole operation,” he told the clerk.

“Veracruz!” said the clerk, “Who would want to live in Veracruz? There is nothing there except baseball players and whores.”

“My wife comes from Veracruz!” responded the boss.

“Oh” said the clerk. “And does your wife bat right-handed or left-handed?”

Peter Griffin for the win..

Got the video from here