Little Johnny's at it again

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked the class for a show of hands from those who could use the word “beautiful” in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on Little Mona, who responded with, “My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it.”

“Very good, Mona,” replied the teacher. She then called on Michael. “My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully,” he said.

“Excellent, Michael!”

Then, the teacher called on Little Johnny…

Last night, during supper, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, “Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!”

Interesting Puzzles ...... 1 a day... Number 3

A completely black dog was strolling down Main Street during a total blackout affecting the entire town. Not a single streetlight had been on for hours. Just as the dog was crossing the middle line a Buick Skylark with 2 broken headlights speedily approaches his position, but manages to swerve out of the way just in time. How could the driver have possibly seen the dog to swerve in time?
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Stumped?

Man Stranded on a deserted Island for 10 years....

A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years. One day a beautiful girl swims to the shore in a wetsuit....

Man: "Hi! Am I ever so happy to see you."

Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"

Man: "It's been ten years!" With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man a cigarette.

Man: "Oh thank you so much!"

Girl: "So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?"

Man: "It's been ten years" The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink.

Man: "Oh... thank you so much. You are like a miracle!"

Girl: [Starting to unzip the front of her wet suit.] "So tell me then, how long has it been since you played around?"

Man: "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a set of golf clubs in there too?!"

 A couple more after the jump

Interesting Puzzles ...... 1 a day... Number 2

An 18-wheeler is crossing a 4 kilometer bridge that can only support 10,000 kilograms and that's exactly how much the rig weighs. Halfway across the bridge a 30 gram sparrow lands on the cab, but the bridge doesn't collapse. Why not?
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Read more to find the answer...

Mother of All Oxymorons....

An oxymoron is usually defined as a phrase in which two words of contradictory meaning are brought together:

Read till end

1) Clearly misunderstood

2) Exact Estimate

3) Small Crowd

4) Act Naturally

5) Found Missing

6) Fully Empty

7) Pretty ugly

8) Seriously funny

9) Only choice

10) Original copies

And the Mother of all......
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11) Happily Married